The Landowner's Secret Read online

  Alice hadn’t any idea when she’d come to be grasping him by the shoulders, but she instinctively pulled him ever so slightly closer for an instant before common sense took over and she let go.

  ‘Who was it, do you reckon?’

  ‘My money’s as much on our respectable housekeeper as on one of the maids,’ he replied, chuckling.

  ‘And you’re so sure it’s a woman? Mostly it’s men interested in …’ she nodded at him, attention on his lips. ‘In that.’

  ‘So I’m often told.’

  Robert rose and helped her to her feet. He edged the door open ever so slightly and peered out like a naughty little boy wanting to avoid an adult. Alice surprised herself by giggling as she clung to his hand and stayed back, hidden by his larger form—as though nobody around would know what they’d just done or what would come next.

  ‘She’s gone,’ he told her in a tone barely more than a whisper, and then looked back at her.

  Oh dear, Alice thought as he closed the door and turned to face her once more.

  It’s really going to happen now.

  ***

  Alice hadn’t told anyone that the peck in the church that morning had been her first kiss, clammy with anxiety as she’d been. It was hardly the sort of thing a lady yelled at the congregation the moment after the berobed man before her declared she was now a wife.

  That kiss had been over and done with before she could worry about how well she’d done, and she’d been far too aware of their sizeable audience to think of anything else. Everyone in town seemed to have packed into the place to witness the oddest wedding they’d ever known.

  Now, though … When Robert set about kissing her again it was her second real kiss, and it was infinitely different.

  He’d shaved well that morning, but he was still a little prickly as he moved his lips from hers to press soft little kisses along her cheek. Stupidly, the bristly feel of his stubble against her skin as he moved from her lips and bent to her throat was a surprise, and one that raised bumps on her arms and put more knots in her belly.

  Uncertain about what she was meant to do, she rested her hands tentatively on his chest, and then curled her fingers into his shirt as he brought his lips back to hers, pressing more firmly, nudging her lips apart and then surprising the devil out of her by brushing the inside of her mouth with his tongue.

  He drew back a tad when he felt her startle, and looked down at her, his arms looped around her waist.

  ‘All right?’ he asked softly, and Alice realised her fingers were still curled into him; she couldn’t seem to let go.

  She nodded, but followed it with a shrug.

  ‘Mister Farrer, I really don’t know what I’m doin’.’

  His smile was sympathetic, but not mocking. ‘I say you’re doin’ fine.’

  That loosened her grip. She gave his chest a little thump.

  ‘Don’t laugh at how I talk!’

  ‘Who’s laughing? Who says I don’t like it?’

  She was about to tell him he was a bloody bad liar when she noticed a few things. Namely, he wasn’t breathing quite normally, and there was a look in his eyes unlike any she’d seen before—a look for her. And, secondly, he was looking at her lips like he wanted to be doing more of that kissing.

  Even if her speech was strange and uncultured, apparently he didn’t mind it.

  ‘You really are a madman,’ she told him, and then rose up onto her toes so their mouths aligned and gave kissing another try.

  She knew she wasn’t doing it properly, but Robert guided her with small touches and nibbles of his lips, silent encouragement in the press of a hand to the small of her back, by bringing his hips closer to hers.

  ‘Sorry if I do it wrong,’ she told him once he broke free of her lips with another kiss to the corner of her mouth, and then went on an exploratory trail along her cheek, back to her neck.

  ‘There is no right or wrong in this.’ His voice was a whisper against her skin.

  Alice tried not to snort, but lost the battle. ‘Oh, I bet there’s a rule or two I’m goin’ to break.’

  His head snapped up and he smiled into her eyes. ‘Well, that’ll keep things interesting.’

  She was still sceptical and shaky with anticipation of whatever was to come, and she still worried enormously that this was going to be the disaster of her life, but she allowed him to continue as he wished, shivering as he removed pins from her hair, and sighing with the relief of him unfastening the tight hooks and ties on her gown.

  Clothes were shed faster than Alice’s nerves could keep up with. Not that Robert was in a hurry, but he kept stopping to distract her with small kisses here, and nibbles along the tips of her ear there, and her mind had gone wandering.

  He unfastened the front of his shirt to reveal a fascinating few inches of skin she’d not seen on many men before. There’d been old Tom Brown, with his saggy skin where Alice had breasts, and Mr Peterson, who had had a stomach sticking out like he’d swallowed a ball. And of course, there was Bertie in the river …

  Her new husband was a little hairy there, and she bet that if she’d been a bit braver she’d have touched him to see if he was wiry or soft.

  Maybe next time, she decided, keeping her hands uselessly in front of herself and wondering if she looked as silly as she felt.

  He paused in disrobing, and she was glad of it when he gathered her back up against him and cupped the back of her skull, pressing her close from the tips of their toes to where her cheek met his chest.

  Not soft, she decided. But not wiry, either. Warm, though. So warm. She rubbed her face against him just a little bit and decided it was different, but not bad.

  ‘Do you know what is going to happen?’ he asked, preoccupied with combing his fingers through her hair. He seemed fascinated by it, which was something she didn’t understand. It was just hair.

  Nobody had played with her hair since she was a small child, and she found she liked it very much. It was the reason he had to repeat his question before she brought herself to answer.

  ‘Oh, you mean— Well, you mean did I understand what Mrs Adamson was all in a bluster about explainin’ to me before?’

  ‘She was? I almost wish I’d seen that.’ He made a sound in the back of his throat that was almost a laugh, and despite the nerves that churned in her belly Alice laughed aloud. That entire conversation was one she wished she’d never been a part of.

  In fact, she wasn’t sure she knew enough about it to get by, but it was too mortifying to admit. Mrs Adamson, face as red as a beetroot, had been in such a state trying to explain what was to come that Alice had taken pity on both of them, suggested she already knew all there was to know—a gigantic lie—and they’d left it at that.

  ‘Maybe I can catch up with some help from you.’

  ‘If that’s the way you want it to be.’

  She nodded against his chest and then ran her hands along his upper arms, feeling the lean bulk of muscle, and the way it tensed and then twitched at the lightness of her touch.

  She’d never touched a man there before either, and even if it wasn’t anything special for him, it was for her. Leaning back enough to fit her hands back between them, she returned her attention to his chest.

  Maybe he was ticklish, she thought, maybe he didn’t like it, and withdrew it back in a flash. He made a sound of protest, and then took hold of her hand gently, squeezing it lightly once before replacing it to his skin.

  ‘Touch me wherever you want,’ he encouraged in a low voice, and then buried his face against her shoulder, kissing her over and over until she shivered at the sensation of it.

  ***

  Time passed as they learnt each other’s bodies, breaths and whispers their only conversation. Somehow, without her quite sure how it happened, Robert walked Alice to the bed until the backs of her legs met the mattress, and then she was scrambling up onto it, moving back as he again closed the space between them.

  He caught her foot in his hand
, and held her steady as he had once before, on that morning back in April that held only hazy memories for her, memories punctuated with bursts of terrible pain.

  She allowed it, knowing she was about to allow a good deal more once the rest of her clothes came away, and realised immediately what he was about right then.

  ‘The ankle’s fine now,’ she told him while he paused in the peeling off of her stockings to inspect the place she’d been bitten. ‘It was a long time ago now really, and—Robert, will you stop staring at it!’

  Smirking, he stared a little longer, and then pressed a kiss to the spot, surprising her into temporary submission.

  ‘I’m actually disappointed,’ she told him in a near-steady voice, her head tipped back on the counterpane as she stared at the ceiling and willed herself not to blush.

  ‘With me? I’d better try harder, then.’

  ‘No, with the bite. I thought there’d at least be a mark to remember it by.’

  He looked across at her, over the slight curves of her body.

  ‘You want a scar?’

  ‘Well, no, not really. But look how much has happened because of it.’

  He tilted his head a moment, considering that, and then brushed his thumb over the place again.

  ‘And it doesn’t pain you anymore?’

  ‘No. It’s as if it never happened. Except that—’

  She broke off and stared harder at the ceiling.

  ‘Except that now here we are, where neither of us expected to be.’

  ‘Exactly. So,’ she said, and looked at him again, belly leaping in fright and anticipation, ‘show me how this is to be done.’

  Chapter 12

  With her mind set to learning the task as they went, Alice’s practicality took over, erasing the worst of her nerves. Even when the last of their clothes were gone and she was delivered one of the great surprises of her life, she managed to keep her wits about her.

  Even so, it wasn’t possible to look away from the most obvious thing in the room.

  She’d seen a few men’s willies in her life, but—holy Moses—never one that looked like that. It was a good thing the light was dim, because Alice rather thought it was better he didn’t see her blush.

  Only, of course he noticed.

  Robert took one look at her face, and then he was gathering her to him with a restraint that surprised her. If he wasn’t straining with … need, was it need? ... If he wasn’t straining with need, then she might’ve thought he just wanted to cuddle her, but there was the matter of the hard thing between them, hot and pressing against her skin.

  ‘Here, we’ll wait a moment,’ he said, careful even though she knew he was ready for more. She was no expert, but some things were obvious. Alice took her moment’s reprieve, and then drew back, reaching up hesitantly to touch his cheek. His colour was high and his skin very warm to the touch.

  ‘Robert …? I am all right. We’d better do the rest.’

  Despite his tension, he grinned at her.

  ‘The rest?’

  Did he know his hands had started travelling up and down her hip, and her thighs?

  He repeated a brush along her leg, but firmer and closer to … she shivered, and her legs parted just slightly, as though they had to.

  ‘I’m not sure I know what the rest is,’ she reminded him, tensing when the back of his hand brushed at the curls between her legs.

  Had he meant to do that? She didn’t know there’d be this sort of touching involved in the matter. Why were hands involved at all? Were they usually? Did they need to be?

  It was all taking much longer than she’d expected, and—

  Alice gasped when he repeated the motion. His hard, muscular thigh, and that other hard thing she couldn’t stop noticing and feeling against her side, were warm and pushing more insistently against her.

  It was all very embarrassing, but for some reason she didn’t want him to stop.

  Robert pressed his lips to her temple as he gently but resolutely encouraged her to part her thighs more, his hand working between them. She jumped at the first curl of his fingers in a place she’d never before imagined anyone touching, but he was determined, and with a soft murmur he continued as he wanted.

  Alice wasn’t sure how long it went on for, the touches that became firmer and more intimate. She had no idea at what point she became brave enough to reach down with an uncertain hand and then touch him, the part that’d surprised her so much earlier.

  Suddenly shy about her boldness, she was about to snatch her hand back and wait for further instructions when Robert groaned. It did not seem like an unhappy groan.

  Encouraged, oddly triumphant, and even bolder now, she continued to do what he appeared to like, though it became increasingly difficult when his own fingers probed deeper, shocking her at the same time as her body responded of its own accord, hips pushing closer to the sensation.

  What an odd thing to be doing, she couldn’t help but think. Did everybody know about such things?

  There was the whisper of the blankets as Robert shoved them aside, and the soft sighs Alice vaguely recognised as her own.

  The fire flickered and crackled, casting warmth across them even though Alice no longer felt that she needed it.

  She’d not a clue how she ended up on her back with her new husband rising above her.

  She was in far too much of a daze of newly discovered pleasure when it occurred to her the part she’d expected from the beginning was happening.

  Robert was careful with her, but the intrusion into her body was beyond what she’d ever expected. The reality of him coming into her widened her eyes and cut short any frivolous comment she might have attempted to make light of an overwhelming situation.

  He took his time, pressing forwards and retreating, murmuring quietly, tensely as he encouraged her to open to him. Unlike what had come before, this was not particularly comfortable, but Alice had been prepared to not like everything that happened that night, and allowed it.

  Finally, finally he was completely inside her and sighed, lowering his cheek to hers briefly before turning his face to kiss her as he began to move.

  Time passed and the discomfort gave way to a new sensation she’d not experienced before as her body became accustomed to his. It was still all so strange and new, and he was still such a stranger to her, but it was not as unpleasant as at the start.

  Alice wanted to ask how long such a thing took, as she’d thought it a much faster and simpler activity than it was turning out to be, but she wasn’t yet certain she ought to talk.

  After all, Robert did seem rather busy.

  She jumped a little at a loud crack from the fire, but her husband was too distracted to notice.

  What was he doing? His movements became faster, and she hooked her arms around his shoulders to hold on as he became more frantic. He strained for something like he couldn’t reach it, and she didn’t know precisely what it was.

  Did he need her help with something? Should she speak now and ask him? Oh goodness, she’d no bloody idea what she was supposed to do.

  He pressed his face against her tangled hair and sped up more, breaking the kiss to gasp against her ear. Alice instinctively moved with him, but there was something … something …

  ‘Robert? Robert, what am I supposed to do. Help me to—’

  Through it all he heard her whispered question and he rose up enough to slip a hand between them, touching her where it felt good, so good, and then it was Alice gasping and straining.

  All too soon afterwards it was over. Robert strained against her one final time, and then came to relax, his weight on top of her long enough for him to draw in big gulps of air, and then he was gently extracting himself from her body and shifting onto his side.

  Still they lay touching, his feet tangling with hers, and Alice self-consciously, tentatively, tugged at a corner of the blankets until she was half covered.

  ‘Thank you,’ he said to her then, bending to kiss her forehea
d, and she nearly laughed at the sentiment.

  She didn’t so much drift in the aftermath as she did lay still and mull things over.

  So, this was the way things were to be from now on? She’d only thought as far as the wedding and the night that would come afterwards, but now they’d be sharing that bed and doing … that often, she supposed.

  It was a new reality she’d take time to become accustomed to, not that she minded it.

  Well, there was the embarrassment, but surely that was normal. Maybe if she thought about the nicer parts of it … It was almost ridiculous, such an odd thing for a man and wife to do, and she again came close to laughing as she wondered how anybody had even thought of it in the first place.

  Tucking her amusement away for later, she leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed when he ran a lazy hand down her back.

  ‘You’re awfully quiet,’ Robert murmured into the peace that followed.

  Alice rolled her head to the side so that she could make out his profile in the dimming light. He looked strong like he always did, but he also looked different somehow. Hers. He might be big and strong and make people quiver in their boots, but right now she wasn’t scared of him at all.

  Not even after … after what they’d just done.

  Before she could stop herself, a little laugh escaped. Clamping her hands over her mouth, she tried to stop it, but the second laugh came soon after the other one.

  Beside her Robert propped himself up on one elbow and watched, and for a reason she didn’t understand that made her laugh even more.

  ‘I’ll have you know that most men are offended when they are laughed at in bed.’

  But when she checked his expression there was a smile there, a flash of teeth in the low light, and so she flipped onto her side to face him.

  ‘Why are they offended?’ she asked, and despite her best intentions she snorted again.

  ‘Do you really have to ask?’

  Alice bit her lip, but the corners of her mouth still tipped up.

  ‘I reckon I do.’

  ‘This … bed sport is a matter of male pride, I’ll have you know. If a lady laughs afterwards, it tends to mean we’ve done it wrong.’